My childhood in Singapore was spent in and out of hospitals due to severe asthma. Doctors warned my mother that I wouldn’t live past adolescence because I was so skinny and weak. Because of this, it made me understand that happiness does not come from possessions, rather it is meant to be alive. I chose to work in the healthcare industry after college because of my childhood health issues. At the hospital where I worked, I witnessed many patients die. The first moment of sitting down next to a deceased patient, a man in his early 20's, sent me into a deep state of confused, fear and extreme sadness. The fear of losing my life during childhood flashed back to me and I wondered intensely where I would go after death, why was I born, and what ultimately is the meaning for human beings to live some years and then suddenly vanish away like smoke. I fell into a deep depression as I saw more and more patients pass away. Also- at that point in my life, I was aware that I still had judgments towards others and had a strong ego. Even though I learned in the Buddhist sutra that everything is impermanent and that everyone is One and we should love each other, it was impossible to practice this in my everyday life.
I started to do different kinds of meditations to cope with stress and search for those questions I had about life and death, like Buddhist meditation, yoga etc., all of which helped to calm my mind. However, I knew my mind was not able to remain in a peaceful state all the time and the perpetual internal conflict of living up to what I knew, was always at odds with my habitual behavior. There was also still fluctuation and noisy chatter at the back of my mind. Therefore, I continued to search for new ways to achieve peace and ended up trying the subtraction method. In the end, it has been the best decision that I made in my life. This meditation completely put an end to my search for Truth because I have found the answers from within simply by engaging in this method.
Simply by following the method and discarding pictures of my human relationships I have let go of the hatred I had for my father (someone I wasn’t speaking to at that time), which had negativity impacted my health for years. From the meditation, I learned that the emotional baggage of the people I hated are only pictures imprinted in my mind, mere illusions I have stored inside myself. Being able to look back on the relationship with my father, forgive and reconcile with him was one of the most invaluable gifts that this mediation has given to me. With this meditation, my health also improved and my body relaxed. In addition, I look much younger and people around told me that I became much more beautiful than before.
Most importantly, the incessant searching about the questions related to life and death and other queries are all resolved. I am now able to live in the moment and realize this world is heaven itself. Before, my mind was full of nonexistent illusions which hindered me from being in touch with life. Now wherever I go, whoever I meet whatever I do I am always happy and light. Moreover, because I understand the laws of nature, I have become more realistic and practical, there are always positive results from whatever I do and I am able to enjoy the process.
Since I have changed my perspective from a self-centered mind to the infinite mind of the Universe, I have formed new habits of being able to live for the others and finding the joy in living for others’ happiness since they are also me. This is the best education that I have received in my life. With this method, I am convinced that it is possible for the world to become one.